By John Gray, Ph.D., “Men, Women and Relationships” — from ‘Love Quotes’

There are seven basic emotional needs or attitudes that are essential to creating a truly loving and emotionally supportive relationship: love, caring, understanding, respect, appreciation, acceptance, and trust.

All of these are present to various degrees when a person feels emotionally supported. Positive sentiments like fulfillment, peace, happiness, gratitude, satisfaction, excitement and confidence are automatically generated when we are able to fulfill our primary emotional needs.

The Seven Positive Attitudes

1.    Love
Love is a connecting, uniting, sharing, or joining attitude. Without judgment or evaluation it says, “We may be different but we are also alike. I see myself in you and I see you in myself.” On a mental level, love is expressed through understanding. Acknowledging a sense of relatedness, it says, “I relate to you in this similar way.” On an emotional level, love is expressed through empathy. It acknowledges a relatedness of feeling. It says, “I relate to your feelings; I have had similar feelings.” On a physical level, love is expressed through touch.

2.    Caring
A caring attitude acknowledges one’s felt responsibility to respond to the needs of another. To care is to show deep interest or heartfelt concern for another’s well-being. When we care about someone, it is a sign that we are affected by their well-being or lack of it. The more one cares, the more one is naturally motivated to fulfill or support others. Caring is also an acknowledgement of that which is important to a person. Caring for a person validates that he or she is special.

3.    Understanding
An understanding attitude validates the meaning of a statement, feeling or situation. It does not presume to know all the answers already. An understanding attitude starts from not knowing, gathers meaning from what is heard, and moves toward validating what is being communicated. Through understanding we are able to see the world through another person’s eyes. An understanding attitude says, “Before I judge you, I will take off my shoes and walk in yours for a while.”

4.    Respect
A respectful attitude acknowledges another person’s rights, wishes and needs. It yields to another’s wishes and needs, not out of fear, but through acknowledging their validity. Respect acknowledges the value and importance of who a person is, as well as their needs. Respect is the attitude that motivates one to truly serve another because he or she deserves it.

5.    Appreciation
An appreciative attitude acknowledges the value of another’s efforts or behavior. It recognizes that the expression of another person’s being or behavior has enriched the well-being of the appreciator. Appreciation is the natural reaction to being supported. Appreciation inspires us to give back to others with a feeling of fullness and joy. Appreciation acknowledges that we have benefited from the gift offered to us.

6.    Acceptance
An accepting attitude acknowledges that another’s being or behavior is received willingly. It does not reject, but rather affirms that the other person is being favorably received. Indeed, acceptance is accompanied by a sense of gratitude for what we have received. It is not a passive, overlooking, or slightly disapproving attitude. To accept a person means to validate that they are enough for you. It does not mean that you think they could not improve; it indicates that you are not trying to improve them. Acceptance is the attitude that forgives another’s mistakes.

7.    Trust
A trusting attitude acknowledges the positive qualities of another’s character, such as honesty, integrity, reliability, justice, and sincerity. When trust is absent, people commonly jump to negative and wrong conclusions regarding a person’s intent. Trust gives every offence the benefit of the doubt, positing that there must be some good explanation for why it happened. Trust grows in a relationship when each partner recognizes that the other never intends to hurt. To approach one’s partner with trust is to believe that they are able and willing to support.

© Wake Up With the Wolf Show – 93.1 the Wolf – WPAW.  Please share this with your friends!

Author unknown

Many parents are hard pressed to explain to their kids why some movies, music, books, and magazines are not acceptable material for them — to see, listen to, or read.

One parent came up with an original idea that is hard to refute.

The father listened to all the reasons his children gave for wanting to see a particular PG-13 movie. It had their favorite actors. Everyone else was seeing it. Even church members said it was great. It was only rated PG-13 because of the suggestion of sex — they don’t really show it. The language is pretty good — the Lord’s name is only used in vain three times in the whole movie.

The teens did admit there was a scene where a building and a bunch of people were blown up, but the violence was just the normal stuff. It wasn’t anything really bad. Even if there was “just a little” stuff wrong, the special effects were fabulous and the plot was action packed.

However, even with all the justifications the teens made for the movie, the father still wouldn’t give in. He just said, “No!”

A little later on that evening the father asked his kids if they would like some brownies he baked, knowing they loved brownies. He said that he’d taken the family’s favorite recipe and added “just a little” something extra. The children asked what it was.

The father calmly said that he had added “just a little” dog poop. However, he quickly assured them, it was “just a little” bit. All the other ingredients were gourmet quality and he had taken great care to bake the brownies at the precise temperature for the exact time. He was sure the brownies would be superb.

Even with their father’s assurance that the brownies were of almost perfect quality, the teens would not take any. The father acted surprised. After all, it was “just a little” small part that was causing them to reject the brownies.

He said he was certain they would hardly notice “just a little” bit of dog poop he had put in the brownies. Still the teens held firm, and would not try the brownies.

The father then explained to his children how the movie they wanted to see with “just a little” bit of bad stuff in it was just like the brownies. Satan tries to enter our minds and our lives by deceiving us into believing that “just a little” bit of evil won’t matter. The truth is “just a little” bit of poop makes the difference between a great treat and something disgusting, which is totally unacceptable.

The father went on to explain that even though the movie industry would have us believe most of today’s movies, with “just a little” bit of bad stuff, are acceptable for adults and kids, they are not.

Now, when this father’s children want to see something that is of questionable material, the father merely asks them if they want some of his special dog poop brownies. That closes the subject.

Put the movie you or your kids really want to see to the ultimate test. Would you be comfortable taking Jesus with you?

© Wake Up With the Wolf Show – 93.1 the Wolf – WPAW.  Please share this with your friends!

By Steve Goodier

You may have heard the old story about the world’s most dedicated fisherman. He had out-fished his companion all morning long. They used the same live bait, the same equipment and fished together in the same mountain stream. But he had almost caught his limit of fish while his friend had yet to catch even one.

“What’s your secret?” asked the friend. “I haven’t even gotten a bite!”

The angler mumbled an unintelligible answer, causing his companion to ask again.

The successful fisherman emptied the contents of his mouth into a cupped hand and replied: “I said, ‘You have to keep your worms warm.’”

Talk about dedication. But did you know there are at least three types of fresh water fishermen (or fisherwomen, if that fits better)?

First, there are those who fish for sport. They like to “catch and release,” quickly throwing their catch back into the water. For these anglers, it’s all about recreation.

Then there are those who fish because they like the taste of fish. They are selective. They only keep the fish they will someday eat.

Finally, there are those who fish because they are hungry. If they don’t catch, they don’t eat. It is important for this group to succeed, and they are fully dedicated to what they do.

Whether or not we fish or even eat fish, there is a lesson to be learned here. We are most likely to succeed when we approach a task fully dedicated. Especially if the task before us is difficult or there seems little likelihood of success. Whether we want to patch a relationship, build a new business, write that first novel, kick a drug habit, or go back to school, we should see how willing we are to do what it takes – even if it means keeping the worms warm.

There are two important questions I ask myself to see just how dedicated I am. Question number one: “How much do I want this?” When some people fish, if they don’t catch, they don’t eat. Some things are too important for me to risk failure. So how much do I want to succeed at this relationship, this career or this dream?
The other question I ask is similar: “How hard am I willing to work?” If ’success’ only comes before ‘work’ in the dictionary, I may have to work harder than I’ve ever worked before. But if I want it enough, the hard work will be worth it.

“Always bear in mind,” said Abraham Lincoln, “that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any other one thing.” And that is where it always begins: with a whole-hearted resolution to succeed – in a task, in a calling, in a life.

How much do I want this? And, how hard am I willing to work? Start there, and great things can happen.

© Wake Up With the Wolf Show – 93.1 the Wolf – WPAW.  Please share this with your friends!

Author unknown; from “Denial”

Plant three rows of Peas:

Peace of mind.
Peace of heart.
Peace of soul.

Plant four rows of Squash:

Squash gossip.
Squash indifference.
Squash grumbling.
Squash selfishness.

No garden should be without Turnips:

Turnip for service when needed.
Turnip to help one another.
Turnip the music and dance.

Plant four rows of Lettuce:

Lettuce be faithful.
Lettuce be kind.
Lettuce be happy.
Lettuce really love one another.

To conclude our garden we must have Thyme:

Thyme for fun.
Thyme for rest.
Thyme for others.
Thyme for ourselves.

Water freely with patience and cultivate with love.
We reap what we sow — you should have a bountiful garden.

© Wake Up With the Wolf Show – 93.1 the Wolf – WPAW.  Please share this with your friends!

By Bonnie L. Mohr, submitted by Wolf Gang member Doug Solomon in honor of Mrs. Audrey Henderson who recently was promoted to be an angel.

Life is not a race, but instead a journey.

Be honest.

Work hard.

Be choosy.

Say “thank you,” “I love you,” and “great job” to someone each day.

Go to church; take time for prayer.

The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh.

Let your handshake mean more than pen and paper.

Love your life and what you have been given, it is not accidental – search for your purpose and do it as best you can.

Dreaming does matter. It allows you to become that which you aspire to be.

Laugh often.

Appreciate the little things in life and enjoy them.

Some of the best things really are free.

Do not worry, less wrinkles are more becoming.

Forgive, it frees the soul.

Take time for yourself – plan for longevity.

Recognize the special people you’ve been blessed to know.

Live for today, enjoy the moment.

© Wake Up With the Wolf Show – 93.1 the Wolf – WPAW.  Please share this with your friends!

By Steve Goodier

I read of a New Jersey artist who capitalized on people’s need to let go of the past by selling them “guilt kits.” Each kit contained ten disposable brown paper bags and a set of instructions which said, “Place bag securely over your mouth, take a deep breath and blow the guilt out. Dispose of bag immediately.” Amazingly, about 2,500 kits sold at $2.50 each. But perhaps not so amazing when you think of the guilt many of us carry around.

Of course, guilt serves its purpose. More than once I made a better decision so that I could look myself in the mirror without blushing. And the kits probably also serve a purpose – if nothing else, to remind us to get rid of those unnecessary and destructive feelings we seem to have so much trouble shaking.

But if blowing in a bag doesn’t do it for you, then you might try another man’s method. He hired a friend to go into therapy for him. He says he always hires other people to carry his baggage.

And if that doesn’t work, here are a few simple steps that that should get at the problem:

First, if you make a mistake, resolve to try never to repeat it. The whole function of guilt is to change behavior.

We underrate our mistakes as effective learning devices. When possible, welcome your mistake, learn from it and decide to do things differently next time.

Second, seek forgiveness from any others who were affected. If possible, make amends.

In Ernest Hemingway’s short story “The Capitol of the World,” a Spanish father decides to reconcile with his son who has run away. Now remorseful, the father takes out a newspaper ad in El Liberal: “Paco, meet me at Hotel Montana noon Tuesday. All is forgiven.” When the father goes to the square he is surprised to find eight hundred young men named Paco waiting for their fathers. We can’t underestimate the need for reconciliation and wholeness.

Finally, forgive yourself. No purpose is served in continuing to whip yourself over past events you can do nothing about. And how will you truly learn to love when there is one person in your life you refuse to completely forgive?

If you follow these steps, you can rid yourself of unnecessary guilt. You will find that you are happier and healthier – and you can save all those brown paper bags for lunch.

© Wake Up With the Wolf Show – 93.1 the Wolf – WPAW.  Please share this with your friends!

Author unknown

An elderly carpenter was ready to retire. He told his employer-contractor of his plans to leave the house building business and live a more leisurely life with his wife enjoying his extended family. He would miss the paycheck, but he needed to retire. They could get by.

The contractor was sorry to see his good worker go and asked if he could build just one more house as a personal favor. The carpenter said yes, but in time it was easy to see that his heart was not in his work. He resorted to shoddy workmanship and used inferior materials. It was an unfortunate way to end his career. When the carpenter finished his work and the builder came to inspect the house, the contractor handed the front-door key to the carpenter.

“This is your house,” he said, “my gift to you.” What a shock! What a shame! If he had only known he was building his own house, he would have done it all so differently. Now he had to live in the home he had built none too well.

So it is with us. We build our lives in a distracted way, reacting rather than acting, willing to put up less than the best. At important points we do not give the job our best effort. Then with a shock we look at the situation we have created and find that we are now living in the house we have built. If we had realized that we would have done it differently. Think of yourself as the carpenter. Think about your house. Each day you hammer a nail, place a board, or erect a wall. Build wisely. It is the only life you will ever build. Even if you live it for only one day more, that day deserves to be lived graciously and with dignity.

The plaque on the wall says, “Life is a do-it-yourself project.” Who could say it more clearly?

© Wake Up With the Wolf Show – 93.1 the Wolf – WPAW.  Please share this with your friends!

You may not know his name, but you’ve definitely seen his face – on the big screen in movies like Just Married and Secondhand Lions, on the small screen in TV shows like Angel and Leverage, and even in other singers’ music videos like “So Small” by Carrie Underwood.  But now Christian Kane is fighting his way to stardom in the Country music world, and as his debut single “House Rules” proves, he’s holding nothing back.

Now, many people are skeptical when actors turn to singing, especially in the Country Music world, but this guy is the real deal.  Christian was born in Texas, raised in Oklahoma, and his parents met in the rodeo…doesn’t get much more Country than that!  He turned to acting in college, but has always included singing in his repertoire…in his first professional acting gig, on the TV series Fame: LA, he played a Country singer.  Christian currently stars in the TNT series Leverage, where he plays hard-hitting Eliot Spencer, and recently showcased his singing talents in Episode 306, performing “Thinking of You”.

My best friend has a soft spot for Christian (ok, she has the hots for him!) so when he performed at Johnny & June’s back in February, we had to go.  I must say, when Christian hits that stage, it’s no acting job…he puts every bit of energy into his live show and totally rocked the house.  (Which was even more impressive when we found out he had the flu!  Maybe that’s where the acting chops came in…we would have never guessed)  His current CD The House Rules was released in December of 2010, and features the title track (see the video below) as well as his current single, “Let Me Go” .  If you like your Country mixed with a little butt-kickin’ rock n’ roll, Christian Kane is your man! Get more info and hear more tunes on his website . Enjoy!
xoxo
-Charley

By Steve Goodier, © 2007 ( LifeSupport at yahoogroups.com)

Simeon Ford, the proprietor of the old Grand Union Hotel in New York, said, “You don’t need to know anything about a hotel to run one. You just open up and the customers tell you how to run it.”

That must be true of other businesses, too. I heard of a newspaper editor who called in her assistant and handed him a stack of papers. “These are suggestions sent in by subscribers on how to run our paper. Make sure you carry them out,” she said.

He did. He carried them out and dropped them in the trash bin.

Many people are quick to suggest, and quicker to criticize. When asked why she was always so critical, one woman said, “I guess I just have a knack for seeing other people’s faults!” (There’s a gift she could hide under a bushel.)

Criticizers are not hard to find. What the world needs are good encouragers. Not more people to find fault, but people to point out strengths and encourage us to excel. The most successful people look for positive qualities. They see potential where others see failure. And they encourage success in others.

Mark Twain put it like this: “Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you too, can become great.”

Who do you spend time with – criticizers or encouragers? Surround yourself with those who believe in you. Your life is too important for anything less.

© Wake Up With the Wolf Show – 93.1 the Wolf – WPAW.  Please share this with your friends!

Author unknown

One day I had lunch with some friends. Rod, a short, good looking golfer type about 62 years old, came along with them – all in all, a pleasant bunch.

When the menus were presented, we ordered salads, sandwiches and soups – except for Rod, who said, “Ice Cream, please. Two scoops, chocolate.”

I wasn’t sure my ears heard right, and the others were aghast. “Along with heated apple pie,” Rod added, completely unabashed.

We tried to act quite nonchalant, as if people did this all the time. But when our orders were brought out, I didn’t enjoy mine.

I couldn’t take my eyes off Rod as his pie a-la-mode went down. The other guys couldn’t believe it. They ate their lunches silently and grinned.

The next time I went out to eat, I called and invited Rod. I lunched on white meat tuna. He ordered a parfait.

I smiled. He asked if he amused me. I answered, “Yes, you do, but also you confuse me.

“How come you order rich desserts, while I feel I must be sensible?” He laughed and said, “I’m tasting all that is possible.

“I try to eat the food I need, and do the things I should. But life’s so short, my friend, I hate missing out on something good.

“This year I realized how old I was. (He grinned) I haven’t been this old before. So, before I die, I’ve got to try those things that for years I had ignored.

“I haven’t smelled all the flowers yet. There are too many trout streams I haven’t fished. There are more fudge sundaes to wolf down and kites to be flown overhead.

“There are too many plays I have not been to. I’ve not laughed at all the jokes. I’ve missed a lot of sporting events and potato chips and beer.

“I want to wade again in water and feel ocean spray on my face. I want to sit in a country church once more and thank God for His grace.

“I want peanut butter every day spread on my morning toast. I want un-timed long distance calls to the folks I love the most.

“I haven’t cried at all the movies yet, or walked in the morning rain. I need to feel wind on my face. I want to be in love again.

“So, if I choose to have dessert, instead of having dinner, then should I die before night fall, I’d say I died a winner, because I missed out on nothing. I filled my heart’s desire. I had that final chocolate mousse before my life expired.”

With that, I called the waitress over. “I’ve changed my mind,” I said. “I want what he is having; only add some more whipped cream!”

© Wake Up With the Wolf Show – 93.1 the Wolf – WPAW.  Please share this with your friends!